Life can be stressful – be kind to yourself

Dr Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap, suggests there is something simple that you can do to reduce stress: “...the single most useful thing anyone can do in any type of crisis… is to focus on what’s in your control.”

• Find something small you can do, such as cooking a meal, going for a walk or listening to a podcast.
• Don’t measure the size of the activity, simply complete it.
• Allow yourself to have a sense of achievement for completing the activity

You might also find it helpful to write down all the things you’re worried about, then divide them into two categories: ‘What I can control’ and ‘What I can’t control’. For the things in the second category, it’s important to recognise that, whilst you can’t control the action, you do have control over how you react.

For example:

• You can’t control rising utility bills but you can check whether a new tariff might save you money
• You can’t control how someone at work treats you but you can decide how you respond to that person
• You can’t control your train running late but you can choose to enjoy an extra few minutes reading your book or listening to music

The APPLE technique is a useful thought process to follow when you feel anxious or worried.

• Acknowledge – Notice and acknowledge the uncertainty when it comes to mind.
• Pause – Don't react to the uncertainty. Just take a moment to pause and breathe.
• Pull back – Tell yourself that this is just the worry talking. This apparent need for certainty is not helpful or necessary. It's only a thought or feeling, not a fact.
• Let go – Let go of the thought or feeling. It will pass. You don't need to respond to it. Perhaps imagine it floating away in a bubble or cloud.
• Explore – At this present moment, everything is OK. Notice your breathing, focus on what you can see, hear and touch right now. Then shift your focus of attention to something else, like what you were doing before you started to worry.

When you feel overwhelmed and stressed, paying attention to the present moment can help. Often called ‘mindfulness’, here are a few techniques you could try:

• Notice the small everyday things, like the smell of your morning coffee or the sound of your child's laughter
• Go for a walk and tune in to all your senses – what can you see, hear, smell, touch, taste?
• Take regular micropauses throughout the day – for 30 seconds, sit in silence and focus only on your breathing and the sensations in your body

Listen to the Good Thinking podcast in which mindfulness trainer and consultant psychologist Janet Wingrove explains how a micropause can help your mental health and check out the free NHS-approved wellbeing apps, including Be Mindful and Meditainment.

In challenging times, it’s important to be kind and look out for those around you. These three simple steps will help you to support your family, friends and colleagues.

• Step 1: Spot the signs and symptoms – do they seem worried, overwhelmed or unhappy? Are they experiencing physical symptoms, such as headaches? Have they become more distant than usual?
• Step 2: Check in and let them know you care – ask them how they’re feeling and create a safe and supportive space for them to open up. If they’re reluctant to talk, reassure them that you’re there for them if they ever want a chat.
• Step 3: Help them to get the support they need – Good Thinking provides lots of advice and tools but they might also benefit from talking to their GP, making a self-referral to an NHS Talking Therapies service, contacting a mental health charity or calling their local NHS mental health helpline.

You can find more detailed descriptions of these three steps in Good Thinking's quick guides for supporting others.

Five ways to good mental wellbeing

Free NHS-approved wellbeing apps

How to connect with nature to improve your wellbeing

How to deal with stress

How to deal with uncertainty

Quick guides for supporting others

Symptoms of stress

The rising cost of living: How to look after your mental health

Types of stress