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Advice from young Londoners on how to cope if you're being bullied

Good Thinking’s Digital Health Ambassadors provide their top tips.

Here at Good Thinking, we work with Partnership for Young London and a group of young Londoners (aged 15-25) who are our Digital Health Ambassadors. Their lived experience helps us to ensure we provide the right kind of information and guidance to boost the mental wellbeing of children and young people across the city.

With research by the Anti-Bullying Alliance and Goldsmiths, University of London, finding that almost 1 in 4 children (23%) are being frequently bullied face-to-face and one in 20 children (5%) are being frequently bullied online, we asked our Digital Health Ambassadors what tips they would give to young people who are experiencing bullying. Here’s what they said…

By Salem

Bullying is a normal part of childhood.
Some children are natural bullies.

These are just two of the many myths about bullying that are simply incorrect and that can cause harm to young people.

Let’s take a closer look at these myths and the action you can take to overcome them.

Myth 1: Bullying is a normal part of childhood

No one deserves to live in the lie that the bullying they are experiencing is normal and should be allowed to carry on and that they should take no action to stop it from happening.

Help is always available so the main thing when you’re being bullied is to never feel like you’re alone no matter how bleak your circumstances look. Don’t despair – there are people all around who are willing to help.

What action can you take?

Get practical advice and tips, such as ‘Take yourself out of the situation’, ‘Don’t retaliate’ and ‘Seek help’ – there are tons of resources online, including on the Good Thinking and Twinkl websites
Confide in someone you trust (a friend, a relative or someone in authority, such as your teacher or boss)
If bullying is affecting your mental health, try to get professional help but don’t be discouraged if lack of resources means it takes a while
Surround yourself with good people who have a positive effect on your wellbeing

Myth 2: Some children are natural bullies

Many people go through harmful events or are in bad environments that can lead them to spreading negativity and bullying others. It’s also important to remember that bullies are not just children on a playground teasing other children – they can also be the co-worker who puts you down or that member of your friendship group who leaves you out.

Bullying is generally one person’s attempt to take their frustrations out on another person. If you’re being bullied, it might be hard to understand that it’s not actually about you but about the bully’s own insecurities. In some cases, the bully might not even understand that they are bullying you or realise the impact of their behaviour.

What action can you take?

Hold the truth that the bullying isn’t about you in your mind and let that help you to not get too ground down by the negative implications of someone else’s words
Every situation is different but, in some cases, the right step might be to talk to the bully – if you help them to understand your perspective, they might see the error of their ways and actively seek to change
Never stay alone in the bullying – find someone you trust and who you can open up to, then let that person guide you in the right course of action

By Makeda

Lots of young people feel intimidated by the phrase 'standing up to a bully', perhaps out of fear of becoming the victim or unliked in a general sense.

But standing up to a bully does not have to be a large public confrontation. Small things can make a big difference.

Here are three tips that I have (from experience) found effective in bullying situations.

1. Ignore and redirect where possible

Standing up to bullying can simply be ignoring or diverting rude comments made to someone online or in person – it’s not about putting yourself in the spotlight. Typically, bullies are fuelled by attention from their peers (e.g. in the form of laughter) so not engaging with the bully is a big step. You can also try to redirect the conversation into something else to avoid rude exchanges.

2. Don’t create an audience for the bully

Attention is what encourages bullying behaviour. It also intimidates the victim, which worsens the situation. So, try to avoid being part of the crowd during bullying incidents. Sometimes it can be difficult to walk away but, by doing this, you might get others to follow. There is strength in numbers.

3. Console the person being bullied in private

Let them know that you do not agree with what is happening and advise them who they should talk to if they need help. Even making the victim feel as if their feelings are acknowledged and seen by their peers could be the boost they need.

By Rhea

"Hurt people hurt people", as Maxine Sinda Napal wisely pointed out. Bullies often lash out due to their own issues and it's crucial to understand that their behaviour is not a reflection of your worth. If you're experiencing bullying, know that you're not alone – countless others have confronted similar challenges.

Bullying, which is defined as unwanted, aggressive behaviour with a power imbalance, can leave you feeling isolated. If you feel like you can relate to this definition, here are some practical tips to help you deal with bullying.

1. Self-reflection

Understand that bullying is not your fault. It does not define you or your character. Stay calm and remind yourself of your own self-worth.

2. Support

Reach out to someone you trust and feel comfortable confiding in. This might be an older family member or a member of staff at school. Or you might even consider contacting a helpline or using a support service, such as Good Thinking, National Bullying Helpline (0300 323 0169) or The Mix (0808 808 4994).

3. Self-care

Coping with bullying can be emotionally draining. Engage in self-care activities that bring you joy and relaxation. This may include watching a movie, reading a book, knitting, dancing, or simply taking a walk. Prioritise yourself and your happiness.

Always remember, it will get better. You're not alone and you're worthy of help. This blog is a starting point to navigate the challenges of bullying, emphasising that improvement is not just possible but within your reach.

By Izzy

When we talk about bullying, it’s important to have a clear definition. For example, the Anti-Bullying Alliance defines it as: ‘The repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group, by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power.’

In Good Thinking’s six tips to help you deal with bullying, there is advice on telling someone you trust. This is one of the best ways to get started in dealing with the situation.

If bullying takes place at school, tell one of your teachers
Bullying that takes place online is harder to deal with but reporting it to the website or app it took place on is an effective way to start
Sometimes, you might prefer to seek advice anonymously – you could call Childline (0800 1111), The Mix (0808 808 4994) or text the word SHOUT to 85258 to start a text conversation (all are free to contact)
If you’re distressed and need urgent help for online bullying, look for the ‘Urgent support’ button on the website or app where it’s taking place

Would you like to be a Digital Health Ambassador?

Good Thinking is looking for young people aged 15-25 to join the programme - a unique opportunity to shape research and policy at a local and national level.

Apply here >

To find out more about what it's like to be a Digital Health Ambassador and the difference you can make to the lives of young Londoners, read this blog by Shelby Davies, Youth Outreach and Participation Officer at Partnership for Young London.

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